No Gender Testing Needed At Twin Peaks

While musing over the ESPN stories on the big screen monitors at Twin Peaks, I wondered about the gender issue regarding Ms. Semenya, a South African who broke the 800m track meet last week.  There are accusations from her fellow woman track competitors that is not a woman.    I know I may have my beer goggles on and all, but just looking at her on the TV screen I think she looks a bit manly.   Either that or she is one ugly woman (sorry Ms Semenya if I am wrong).    They have to do a psych profile, physical examination, blood work and some sort of DNA/Chromosone test.   Geez, couldn’t they just look

Caster Semenya

Caster Semenya

under her track shorts??    David Letterman last night proposed a test to settle the dispute. Watching her run however, it certainly doesn’t look like she is packing anything down there.   Very confusing times we live in.   (song lyrics from The Kinks “Lola” and Lou Reed “Take a Walk on the Side” are buzzing around in my head).

How does Twin Peaks and other restaurants like it get around the gender issue?  Or for that matter, the “looks” issue?   I asked one time and they said “we hire for looks and train for skills”.    It’s an entertainment job, not a skills job.   So, that’s how they get around all those government red tape on fair hiring, etc.   Let me tell you, I’m all for it!     If Obama and Pelosi had their way, Twin Peaks would be forced to hire 200 lb transgendered girls/guys or whatever they are called.    Maybe that is why Twin Peaks hasn’t opened up in California (especially San Francisco).   Can you imagine the issues out there?

Scene from new restaurant opening in San Francisco, with a manager interviewing for waitress and hostess positions.  Persons walks in, tight T-Shirt, small breasts, nice face, hair, etc.   On the job application they check under gender “other”.

Manager asks “so why are you interested in being a waitress at Twin Peaks”?   Applicant: “I’ve a closet full of halter tops and short shorts that I’m just dying to wear in public since my operations”.

Manager: “uh, ok.  Anything from the operations that prevent you from working?”  Applicant: “No heaving lifting for a few more months but I can carry a tray of food and prance to and from the tables just fine.  Look, I’ve been practicing”.

Manager: ” I see.  Very good poise.  Have you done waitress work before”?   Applicant “Technically, I did, but as a waiter”.

Manager: “Lets move on.   We will need to see you in the uniform, and make sure you are comfortable wearing it out for working here.  I need to you go and put this top and shorts on.”    Applicant:  “Sure, but those signs “Stand2P and Sit2P are really confusing”.

Thank God I can just look at my waitress here in Texas and know there is no need for gender testing.   smile.


Your Twin Peak Insider



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